


Sorry (Isn't gonna cut it)

by SaintAubergine



Series: MCYT But Its SCP [4]
Category: Video Blogging RPF
Genre: Angst, Eret and Toby Smith | Tubbo and Niki are siblings, Eret is not looking for redemption because they don't think that they deserve it, Eret-centric (Video Blogging RPF), Gen, They/Them Pronouns for Eret (Video Blogging RPF), Traitor Eret (Video Blogging RPF)
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-13
Updated: 2021-01-13
Packaged: 2021-03-17 14:06:40
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 631
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28726311
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SaintAubergine/pseuds/SaintAubergine
Summary: Look man, what can I say? I enjoy Eret angst.Set in the MCYT but its SCP 'verse. You don't need to read the other fics before this, but reading the main fic will put some details into context.
Series: MCYT But Its SCP [4]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2085219
Comments: 3
Kudos: 64





	Sorry (Isn't gonna cut it)

**Author's Note:**

> look okay my nonbianary ass saw that Eret uses all pronouns and immediately went 'oh. me' so watch me make the Eret of this universe genderfluid you can't stop me. 
> 
> Alternate title: Eret lowkey has a panic attack

The crown sits heavy on their head, and even in the darkness of the cell, Eret can see the blood on their hands. No matter what they do to attone, it will never be enough. Eret’s tainted their name willingly, with an obsidian bunker and a wooden button, and no matter how hard they try, everyone else will always second guess trusting them. 

_ My fault, they think, for thinking that all I needed was power. My fault for stabbing all my friends in the back for some empty stone walls and a cold throne and a meaningless title. My fault for thinking that I would be able to fix this, for thinking that I could glue everyone's fragmented trust back together and make it look brand new.  _

They know what everybody whispers behind their back, how everybody says that they’re a traitor and that they can’t keep a secret, can’t be trusted not to sell everyone they care about out for another dollar in their pocket or another gem in their crown. They may try not to let it show but it does hurt them. They hide it behind their sunglasses, but it still stings. 

_ Your thirst for power will be your undoing one day, someone once told them, and at the time they’d laughed at the mere thought of their goals turning on them. Maybe if they’d thought about it, if they’d know how much the aftermath would destroy them, they might have chosen a different path. Probably not. Eret knows themself pretty well, or at least they’d like to think that they do, and they know that if anyone had known, if anyone had tried to talk them out of it, they would laugh until they cried, and then slit the throat of their accuser to hide what they now know is their guilt. They’d laughed at everyone who tried to get them to see that isolation wasn’t the best way to live. They aren’t laughing anymore. _

Eret refuses to be the traitor again. **They** **refuse to be the traitor again.** They’d made a single promise to themself when they got carted off here, told themself that no matter what, they would not betray the people that once trusted them. It's not much, but it's all that they can do right now to try and repair everything they broke. They told themself that no matter what happens, they will not tell anyone anything about their friends (friends who don’t recognize them back, but why would they. They remember Eret as a knife in the back, and that's all that they’ll ever be). And unlike every other promise that they’ve ever made, they plan on keeping this one. 

So they talk to Fundy and Niki and Tubbo, the only people who can even begin to forgive them (and something in their mind whispers that Niki and Tubbo only forgive them because the three of them are related by the blood in their veins, and the two of them are only giving Eret a chance because of that. Eret tells that voice to shut up). Wilbur sends letters every now and then, explaining his situation and asking for advice (and Eret doesn’t know what to tell him because their situations are so similar and so different and at least Wilbur can say that he did what he did because of his declining mental state, whereas Eret doesn’t get that kind of excuse). 

_ And the lights in the cell are so dim, and they’re so hungry for the light that they need, but they can’t tell anyone that because that would make them weak, and now that they’ve burnt every bridge that they have, they can’t afford to be weak. _

Eret endures. They don’t know how much longer they can keep going.

**Author's Note:**

> Cry.
> 
> Can I just say that I love the idea of Eret kinda just... accepting that redemption isn't coming and instead deciding to quietly help the people that they care about is just *chef's kiss*. 
> 
> Also, small meta note on the series as a whole: almost every person featured in this universe has abilities that the Foundation doesn't know about. I might make a meta-thread on it. I might not. look at me go. 
> 
> Please leave kudos and comments they are getting me through my winter shlump.


End file.
